Happy Belated Birthday to America – I hope you and yours had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend.

Since this is the first time I've written in a bit, I wanted to share with you a powerful example of exactly what the problem is in our country when it comes to bullies – and, how this attitude is spreading into every area in our lives, not just bullying.

In a New York Times article, "Online Bullies Pull Schools Into the Fray", dated June 27, 2010, there is an example of exactly what NOT to do when it comes to bullying, and the fact that bullying doesn't stop just because school is out.

In the article, it tells the story of parents of a sixth-grade  daughter went to the principal of the school and showed the principal dozens of inappropriate text messages that were sent to their daughter from a boy at her school.

They begged the principal to, "Do Something".  The principal did the right thing and explained that the messages were sent on a weekend; school was out.  The school couldn't discipline the boy.

And then – and this was well done by the principal – he asked a simple question; had they approached the boy's parents?

Her parents said…no; too awkward, they said; the boy was on the same team that the girl's Dad coached.

Then the principal asked if they had reported or gone to the police.

Nope – too long and drawn out, her parents said.  They just wanted someone to "do something".

And that is the problem.

The principal is much to politically correct to say this, so I will…the proper thing to tell these parents is to grow a pair.

God Forbid you actually grow a pair, stand up for your daughter – which shows her that you love and care for her; that you will do anything to protect her and thereby greatly raising her self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem – and march over to that boy's house and – eyeball to eyeball, parent to parent – handle your business.  Personally.

Scary?  Yes.  Awkward?  Definitely.  Rare in this day and age?  Sadly it is.

This is the problem with bullying now and, dare I say, our country.

We have become a nation of sheep.  We are so politically correct and emotionally weak that we can't even have candid discussions or disagreements face-to-face anymore.  It seems like with the advances of technology, the Internet, e-mail, video games and electronic everything, we are becoming more and more socially stunted when it comes to communication, particularly face to face.

More importantly, "Victimtude" is everywhere.

Victimtude is the attitude of, "I'm a victim; I'm helpless.  This is somebody's fault.  Somebody has to come fix this, save me, make this right, etc…"

Victimtude is so widespread and acceptable now that when someone DOES stand up, take responsibility and attack a problem head-on, rather than be admired, they are villified.

A perfect example is the state of Arizona.  Whether or not you agree or disagree with their position or what they have done, they should be admired for their attitude and action.

They felt they did everything they could – begged the government, passed what laws they could, enforced the laws they had, left no stone unturned – and it wasn't enough.  They had a huge problem that was out of control, dangerous for the citizens, illegal and expensive.

They finally took the bull by the horns and did something.  And as soon as they did, they were attacked.

Again, whether or not you agree is NOT the point; the point is that when it comes to bullying – or any other major problem, challenge or desire in your life – living in Victimtude is NOT going to solve anything, or get you any closer to the outcome you want.

The only way to get what it is you want in life, stop bullying or handle the challenges in your life is to "Grow a Pair" and attack the situation, head on.

Concern yourself not with what others will think or how they will react; only concern yourself with taking the actions and behaviors that lead you in the direction of what it is you want, what you think is right.

Go from Victim to Victor, Chump to Champion.  No one is coming to the rescue…it is up to you.

Be your best,

Sensei Huff

P.S. – This attitude is discussed at great lengths, along with stories as examples, along with 9 Tips for Parents to Deal with Bullying in the course, "Bully Proof Kids".  Just because school is out doesn't mean bullying isn't happening at summer camp or out on the playground.  Get yours today here.

It happened because in all the time I've been spending cooking up the new goodies for parents or adults dealing with bullying, I realized I haven't written to you in forever.

Bad Sensei.

Well, have no fear; I am still in the ring, swinging against bullying in all forms and I have some great programs right around the corner that I will be sharing with you very soon.  In the meantime, I received an e-mail from a reader who has his take on how to deal with bullying.  Here it is:

"Hi Sensei Huff

Talking about bullying, I think we should not put our self or our kids into situation where the bullies can take advantage. If it happens in the school, then I will prefer to move my kids to other better school. Because I believe, the number of bullies indicates how bad the school is. I don't want my kids take study in a bad school.

My point is, we should choose which environment we are going to live in.

Regards,

Hartoyo"

Hartoyo,

Thank you for your feedback.  I am going to agree with you – halfway.

You are correct in saying you should choose the environment where there are no bullies, that way you don't have to deal with it.  But, what happens if you did your best to choose the best environment and there are still bullies?

I know from my experience in working with parents with kids in prestigious private schools to adults who work in Fortune 500 companies who ALL have been bullied, even though they were in good environments.

If you or your child gets bullied, your only answer cannot be to just "pick a better environment"; when we do that, we aren't developing our mental and emotional muscles by facing the bully and doing what it takes to take back our power and overcome the situation.  We aren't learning to deal with our problems and challenges – we are running from them or trying to avoid them.

Unfortunately, you can look everywhere in society right now – and sadly, in our government – and see example after example of how ignoring or moving away from problems has only made them worse.

As one of my favorite sayings states:  "Problems rarely get better with age."

Stay tuned for tons of good stuff, all designed to help you take back your power from the bullies, energy suckers and negative b.s in your life.

To your best,

Sensei Huff

P.S. – If you don't have a copy of the audio or DVD from the course, Bully Proof Kids, go to Bully Proof Kids and get yours today.  

Well – that didn't take long.

On Friday, I sent an article regarding the Arizona Illegal Immigration law and how it is a perfect example of how to take back your power and stand up to a bully in your life, especially when you have done everything you were asked or taught to do and nothing changes.

Someone who read my article disagrees.

Normally, I get Nastygrams and I do what I was taught to do; I read them, laugh, celebrate that I am getting criticism and then hit the "delete" key, not bothering to waste my breath on someone who is sending negative energy my way. However, after getting this email below, I decided to make an exception for two reasons:  the first reason is that this situation is a perfect example of how to deal with cyberbullying, and I wanted to "lead by example" and demonstrate how I handle things like this.

The second reason is that the below type of e-mail is a perfect example of how someone can get upset over when you stand up for yourself and take a position and, rather than use an intelligent argument, resort to emotional positions and name calling, essentially hijacking the argument.

So here is the nastygram, along with my response.  I have not included this person's name for privacy reasons.

"Dear Sir,

Please do not send any e-mail. I could block you from my receiving list and be done with such. However, I choose to give you the respect that you are not willing to give Latino Immigrants of this great nation. As a Naturalize United States Citizen and citizen of the State of Arizona who was born in Mexico, who also served in this country's military fighting for the principals that this great nation stands for. I am bewidered and upset that you would have such views. SB 1070 is a racial profailing proposition (It's not a law yet and hopfully never will be.)

Sir, you are incorrect in many of your views and comments.  Its too bad you are very uneducated regarding the great things immigrants bring to this country. That would be the case however, since your ancestors were the first ones in this great land and thus not considered immigrants (you are of course a Native American right???????). and that gives you the right to removed anyone else from this country, right? 

Please take to study and get factual information before writing and sending your racial and non-factual opinions Sir.

Good Day Sir"

And my response:

Dear Mr. Obviously Did Not Read All of My Article,

Thank you for contacting me.  I also thank you for being a fellow military man, as I served in the Marines during the First Gulf War.

I don't know where you read in my article any disrespect for Latino immigrants.  Nowhere in the article did I attack them or say anything negative.

I am more aware than most of what immigrants bring to this country.  As I said in my article, my wife is first generation Chinese American; my great-grandparents came here from Germany through Ellis Island.  My wife's father, a Phd in electrical engineering, holds fourteen patents from his days working with IBM, many of which are a part of America's economy today.  If it wasn't for immigration and immigrants, my wife wouldn't even be my wife and I wouldn't have a beautiful daughter.

As far as being uneducated on the issue, I actually read the law, word-for-word, prior to writing the article.  I always try to get my information unfiltered, not through a conservative or liberal source or, God Forbid, some support group with a political agenda.  The law - as best as I can tell, since I am not an attorney – mirrors what the Federal law already does.  So Arizona is simply going to enforce what the Federal government said was the law already.

Bringing up Native Americans has no relevance to the discussion, although what was done to them by our government was an injustice.

I don't see the connection with removing anyone from the country, unless you are referring to someone who is here illegally, regardless of their nationality, which is federal law.

It sounds to me that you may have read my article and let the emotion and passion you have for the issue cloud your point of view.  I hope that you are not like the thousands across the country that are rallying, calling people names like racist, Nazi and worse, just because someone told you that this law was racist, encouraged racial profiling and likened it to Nazi Germany before Hitler started killing jews.

If you did that, it means that you were taken advantage of by someone with a political agenda who fed you B.S. and you believed it.  And, you didn't take the time to read the law yourself and form your own opinion.

I urge you to not listen to anyone on the matter, including me.  Read the bill for yourself and if you have questions, ask an attorney for clarification.  Then you can take and educated, intelligent position on the matter.

And by the way, when you call someone a racist, you give the appearance of putting the other party on the moral low ground, and put yourself on the moral high ground.  Unfortunately, it is a tactic that far too many people use today when their position is weak (Al Sharpton, anyone?) So in the future, at least when communicating with me, please keep the discussion on point and leave out the name-calling.

Thank you again for your response to my article.  If you ever want to stop hearing from me, feel free to hit the "unsubscribe" button at the bottom of any e-mail from me.

Respectfully,

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – Just for fun, go and research Mexico's Illegal Immigration laws.  They are much more severe than ours and will provide some very interesting perspective.

When you are faced with an instance like this, the best way to handle it is quickly, and head-on.

You can see that I kept my response as factual, on-point and non-emotional as possible.  You want to stick to the facts, be polite and firm. You also want to lay out guidelines and/or expectations on what you expect in the future, so that everyone is on the same page.

Usually, if all parties can keep their emotions and passions in check, you can resolve the situation amicably and move forward.  If not, then you have to take whatever steps make sense at that time to address any further developments.

This situation, like the situation in Arizona, is a great example of how to take back your power and stand up to a bully.  Make sure you stand up for yourself and your child, whether it is popular or not, and whether or not you are going to be criticized, vilified or called names.

To your best,

Sensei Harrison Huff

Things are hot-hot-hot over there in Arizona now, and I am not talking about the weather.

Arizona finally did what I have been teaching for years, and that is to stand up to the bullies in your life and take back your power.  In this case, that bully is illegal immigration.

I don't blame them; I applaud them.

It is not like they had much choice.  A search on crime and murder rates comparing Phoenix, Arizona – one of the epicenters of illegal immigration – with New York City shows that Phoenix has a murder rate of 6.83 per 100,000 people; New York City has 7.29 per 1000,000.

Here is the eye-popping stat: Phoenix's population is 1.5 million; New York City's is 8.2 million.  So, Phoenix has a murder rate almost identical to New York City, but with a population roughly five and half times smaller.  

Not good.

There are two things about this situation that jump out as great lessons for anyone dealing with bullies in their lives; one is how out-of-touch and skewed society is becoming and the other is about how to handle yourself when you find yourself in a similar situation.

The first thing – and this made me mad, and then it made me crack up – is that many people are up in arms, lobbing around the racist label, saying this is Nazism, calling for boycotts and everything else because Arizona passed a law that makes it illegal to be an illegal immigrant.

Let me repeat that – it is now a crime to be an illegal immigrant?

Wait a minute…if you are in the country ILLEGALLY, you are already committing a crime, hence the name, "illegal immigrant".  What is everyone all fired up about?  If you are in the country illegally, you are – in fact – committing a federal crime and subject to legal action and deportation.

If I commit a crime, I get punished; if my neighbor commits a crime, he gets punished.  If you are in this country – no matter what your status – if you commit a crime, you get the ding.  Period.

Now before you start lobbing Racist Bombs at me, some backstory:  My great-grandparents came to America from Germany through Ellis Island.  My wife's parents came here from China via Taiwan on student visas, and then earned their citizenship, allowing my wife to be born a Chinese American citizen.  My five month old daughter is what I lovingly call a, "Tweener", as she is in between white and Chinese, an "Americanese" if you will; I get that immigrants are a part of who I am and are in every part of my family tree.  

This entire country is bologna – we are made up of a little bit of everything.

The point is that Arizona was forced into a corner because of one reason:  they gave their power away to the Federal government in regards to their illegal immigration problem – and the Feds fumbled.

This is an example of what happens when you give your power away to a person or entity and expect them to "fixee-fixee" and make everything all better.

To be fair, the Feds are buried under so many priorities that they have to look up to see the bottom, but that is not Arizona's problem – that is the Fed's problem.  Perhaps if the Feds focused on what they were chartered to do by our Founding Fathers instead of all the other things they have burdened themselves with, they would have more time to dedicate to what they are supposed to be doing – one of which is National Security, which includes – wait for it – securing our borders…

I digress.  My bad.

Arizona was forced to act.  After staying in the background, passing what legislation they could and practically begging the Feds for help, they had no choice but to act, and act decisively.

To be clear:  whenever you are faced with bullying or harassment of any kind, you always inform all parties that need to be involved – teachers, principles, the school system, your co-worker, your boss, human resources, your attorney if necessary; but – you DO NOT turn over responsibility to those parties – YOU take charge and stay in charge until the situation is resolved in full to your satisfaction.

Arizona drew a line in the sand (pun intended) and put illegal immigrants, the Feds, law enforcement and citizens of Arizona on notice that it was no longer going to tolerate the situation and changes were coming.

Whether or not is is legal, constitutional or anything else is not my call.  If you would like to see a great article on all of those points, written by a law professor, look up Kris Kobach's op-ed piece in the New York Times.

That is also the third "bonus" lesson that this situation can teach you; Arizona did the right thing for Arizona and what was necessary, and look at how they are being vilified, from the President Opromisator all the way down to illegal immigrant advocate groups.  Even Shakira, the Columbian pop star, is personally visiting Arizona to "get to the bottom of this".  If I was an illegal immigrant, I would feel better already.  "Have no fear, Shakira is here!"  (By the way, how people that are in a country illegally can have advocate groups is another testament to how great our country is; any other country that an American is traveling to illegally can grab your heiney, toss you in the clink and throw away the key.)

Even if you are right, when you stand up to the bullies in your life and take back your power, it is going to upset the apple cart.  There is an old saying that I love that says, "When you stand head and shoulders above the crowd, you are going to get hit with a tomato once in a while".  Standing up to the bullies is going to make you stand out.  It is going to be threatening to other parties involved.

I have seen parents stand up for their kids that were being bullied and seen them called unreasonable, aggressive, anal, demanding, pushy, self-righteous and more.

Hogwash.  When you are standing up for yourself or your child, what other people think does not matter.  What matters is what YOU think about you, and what your child thinks about himself.  That is why it is so important to value yourself and your happiness.

Arizona grew a pair and did what it had to do, knowing it was going to be controversial and cause a firestorm of criticism, lawsuits and more.

What Arizona did – however controversial, aggressive or what some consider racist, illegal or worse – is exactly the right way to handle the bullies in your life.

Take back your power,

Sensei Harrison huff

P.S. – Last night I recorded the course, "Cyber Self Defense: 8 Steps to Stopping Cyberbullying" and the principle of Taking Back Your Power from people and other entities was covered in depth, along with specific, step-by-step strategies to handling cyberbullying and electronic harassment.  Learn how you can get your hands on that product for no charge in the very near future.  Stay tuned… 

Phoebe was bullied so much, both offline and online, that she was driven into a deep depression and took her own life.  She reported the bullying to the school.  She told her parents.  Her parents reported the bullying to the school; even a couple of Phoebe's friends reported the bullying to the school.

Nothing changed.  The bullying continued.

What is really disgusting about this situation is even after her death, she was still being bullied online – by people who knew she was dead!

Locally and nationally,  this is still a big story.  Now, the state of Massachusetts is working on legislation in regards to bullying.  On top of that, coming this summer is the remake of the Karate Kid movie, originally starring Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita, which will now star Will & Jada Smith's son, Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan.

What message are all these news reports and movies about bullying really sending?

What you and I  – and the school systems – are taught about bullying prevention and dealing with bullies does not work.  If it did, we wouldn't have kids killing themselves.

Think about it:  when did you hear when you were growing up that someone was bullied so badly that they killed themselves?  Did you ever?  Granted, with the twenty-four hour news cycle and the Internet, stories go national at light speed, so there what happens in Topeka gets heard in Boynton Beach, Florida.

I get that – it just doesn't change the fact that bullying is now more invasive and more intense than ever.  Parents, largely due to the fear of lawsuits, their child getting into trouble and by what they were taught as children, are teaching their children the same old, tired and ineffective methods for preventing and dealing with a bully.

School systems – hamstrung by rules that have been written as the result of lawsuits brought by parents of bullies – coddle, baby, ignore or tolerate bullying with lip service, like "Anti-Bullying" campaigns and more.  I have a friend that is a counselor in a public school system that I won't name that told me flat-out that there are entire sections of the school policy book that were written after the school was sued because counselors and teachers intervened in a bullying case, and the parents of the bully sued the school.

Now, there is a laundry list of things he as a counselor cannot do or say when it comes to bullying.  And, what he is allowed to say or do is politically correct – which means it is worthless.

Like much of what is going on in the political environment, it is time for people to wake up.  What you are being taught about bullying prevention and how to handle bullies is dead wrong and doesn't work.

It is time to Take Back Your Power.  Stop listening and following the same old tired, ineffective information that didn't work thirty years ago when it was taught and doesn't work now.  It's time to stop turning outward for the answers and solutions and start to turn inward.  You and your child have the strength, courage and wisdom to handle anything, if you will face your fear and do what you know is the right thing – even if it is scary, unpopular or not politically correct.

A great place to start is with my first course, "How to Bully Proof Your Child".  Here I tell you what school administrators and the politically correct will never tell you about how to prevent being bullied or what to do once you are the target of a bully.

I am a parent, too.  I was the victim of a bully.  I know what it is like to carry the emotional scars from doing everything you were taught about being bullied, turning the other cheek, walking away, ignoring the bully – and having none of it work.  I still remember the shame, anger and frustration of feeling weak and worthless.  It stays with you for life, until you have the courage to face it and deal with it.

Do not let this be you or your child's story.

Get over to http://www.bullyproofkids.com today and pick up the course, "How to Bully Proof Your Child".

Your child's future is worth it.

To your best,

Sensei Harrison Huff

are being charged with crimes related to suicide of Phoebe Prince,

a fifteen year old Irish immigrant who had recently moved to this country.  

They are being charged with a range of crimes, from civil rights 

violations to statutory rape.

A group of nine teens mercilessly picked on Phoebe – for MONTHS – online 

via Facebook and offline, including verbal harassment and physical abuse.

This is sad on so many levels that I don't have enough time to go

into them all – but there is one HUGE point of the story that gets

me so mad I see red sometimes…

Once again, the parents of the bullied child, the child being bullied,

and in this instance, four of the bullied girl's friends ALL went to

the school – on multiple occassions – and asked for help in stopping

the bullying of young Phoebe.

The school's reaction was described as "inconsistent enforcement of the Code

of Conduct."

So let me get this straight:  this newly emigrated teen gets picked on - 

for MONTHS – both verbally and physically; she reports it, her family reports it

AND her friends report it…and the school does nothing?

I don't know about you, but I hope someone sits down with that Irish

family, explains how our legal and justice system works, and then sues

the pants off of that school district for negligence.

Usually I would not endorse the lawsuit route as I think the definition of

a lawsuit is two parties throwing adult temper-tantrums, but if this case isn't

an example of when someone should file a lawsuit, I'll eat my laptop after I send

this e-mail.

Here is what makes my blood boil…

Once again, the personal responsibility of dealing with the bullying was handed

off to someone or something else and when that failed, the victim felt powerless,

and that led down a tragic road.

This behavior – this philosophy – of turning responsibility for things going on

in your life over to someone or something else – is a recipe for disaster.

When you give your power away, you are automatically positioned as a victim,

no matter what the outcome, because you are no longer directing energy into

what it is YOU want.  The other party you gave your power away to is in charge.

This country was founded on the principle of self-reliance and self-governance.

When the pilgrims came over, it was because a King decided that everyone had 

to worship at his church; our forefathers gave him the one finger salute and 

said something along the lines of,"No thanks.  We would rather get on these three 

rickety boats, cross a very dangerous ocean, and take our chances in finding a 

place where we can do as we please."

When our country was officially formed, it was because a King decided we were behaving

like unruly children and needed to be brought to heed through punitive taxes

and restrictions.

Our Founding Fathers said, "Thanks, but No Thanks."

Americans are all about "Leave Me the F@#$ Alone – I can take care of myself",

yet more and more, there is an attitude or inclination to look to someone

else to "come to the rescue" and when they don't, to blame them.

When it comes to bullies, energy suckers and negative B.S. in your life, the

last thing you want to do is look for someone or something else to fix it

for you.

YOU are strong enough, you are good enough and you are worth it.  Stand up to

the challenge in your life, look it in the eye and say, "Bring it on.  I am not

afraid of you."

Only by facing the bullies, energy suckers and negative B.S. can you take back your power,

overcome the challenges and get stronger in the process.

To Your Best,

Sensei Huff

P.S. –  A great place to start when you want to teach yourself and your child how to 

take back your power and stand up to the bullies, energy suckers and negative B.S. in 

your life is the course, Bully Proof Kids.

P.P.S. – New site is coming along with many new products along with it,  Stay tuned…

The medical term is "fixthebackpatioitis", but translated into husbandese means, "Go spend a ton of dough so we can have family time on the back patio".

Doesn't matter that we have "family time" every waking moment that we are together – but that is the subject for another time.

Dutifully, I headed out the door with my wallet in hand, marketing pieces from local stores and my eye on a new grill – so I can get rid of the three old ones I have – and patio furniture.

First stop, a well-known national retailer, and I am walking around with a lost look on my face, marketing piece from today's paper and wallet in my hand, in the department that is selling what I am looking for…

No salespeople to help me.

I go to the front of the store (and it is a loooong way because I'm at one of those big retailers) and get a guy who is alone at the register, attempting to check out a line five deep AND do the customer disservice.  I tell him what I am looking for and he tells me to wait while he helps other customers (instead of getting another person to come help me so he can focus.)  I think, "Hey. it's okay; it is only Saturday and it is early, I have time."

Thirty minutes later, I am still un-helped.  When the guy finally gets free, he looks in the computer at the four items I want and says, "No problem; we have four of all of these things – I'll go get them."

Sheepishly, he comes shuffling back about twenty minutes later.  "Uh, Sir…our computers only update every four days and apparently we sold all of these items and didn't update the system."

He scours the store-wide system and gives me the location of the nearest four other stores whose computers say they have the items, but their systems might not be accurate as well.  He says, "Why don't you call and check before you go to make sure."

Well – I'm down an hour of time now, still don't have patio furniture and still have money burning a whole in my pocket.  A better idea might be if HE got on the phone and did the legwork for me, since I am standing RIGHT THERE and if he does it and they have the furniture, I probably will go and buy everything RIGHT THEN.

He didn't, so I left and DID NOT go schlepping about for the furniture.  I was now slightly peeved because I didn't get what I wanted.  Strike One.

I now go after the outdoor carpet and new grill.  I go to another national, well-know retailer and walk in – wallet in my hand again – and proceed directly to the grill department.

Ghost town.  Nobody in their color-coordinated outfits to get any help.  I look around for thirty minutes before deciding on a grill, now I just need to know if it is able to be modified for natural gas.  I dig around for another ten minutes before I have to go two departments over – to the paint guys – to get someone to come help me.  He doesn't know where anyone is and doesn't know anything about if the grill I want is convertible or not.

Strike Two.

Now I am getting more than slightly peeved and I am on to annoyed.  I go to the flooring department and get a nice lady – who I am sure meant well – but knew n-o-t-h-i-n-g about flooring, including how to multiple length times width to get square footage.

I explained several times, "I need ten foot six inches by seven foot nine inches please " to which she would reply, "Yes!  Ten foot by six foot! And seven foot by nine foot!" 

"No, I"m sorry; maybe I misspoke.  I need a piece ten foot six inches by seven foot nine inches please."

"Right!  Ten foot by six foot! And seven foot by nine foot!"

I tried one more time before I threw in the towel.  I had gone beyond slightly peeved and annoyed to amused.  This was now funny.

I had tried to spend over a thousand dollars to keep my wife happy – which is as guaranteed of sale as you are going to get; I had my wallet in my hand, for chrissakes – and NO ONE could pull off the sale.

Strike Three – you are all out.

I went home two and a half hours later, money still in my wallet, back patio still in need of help and me, laughing and shaking my head in disbelief.

In this economy, with all the challenges, joblessness and more, you would think that companies would be hopping on the Customer Service & Experience Bandwagon…

Sadly, that is not the case.

Companies and individuals got lazy and complacent during the good times because you could put a monkey in charge of sales and there was so much money flying around, the monkey could still get sales.

Not anymore.

Now, the customer is much more careful about how they are spending their money and how they are treated in the process.  I am just one guy, and I don't know what the average ticket sales is at the two locations where this happened, but if ten percent of the customers are like me – and they all want to drop a grand while they are there – that is thousands and thousands of dollars A DAY that is walking out the door, wallet in hand.

Much like having the right attitude when dealing with your bullying boss or a bully in your life, a proper attitude is a MUST when dealing with companies that have a Customer Disservice Department.

Fire them.  Don't spend your money.  If you are not too annoyed at the waste of time, go somewhere else that does take care of you and let them earn your money.

If you can only get what you want from one place, start to work your way up the leadership chain and let them know what it is you want, how you tried to get it and how you have been trying to give them your money but they don't seem to want to take it.

You will be amazed at how quickly things start to happen for you.

But -  in order for that to happen – you have to DECIDE that you will not tolerate being sent to the Customer Disservice Department.

To your best,

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – It is always amazing and rewarding when people I meet and work with tell me, "Sensei, the principles that you use to stand up to bullies, energy suckers and negative B.S. in your life apply to everything."  That is why I am adding material regarding business and other topics to the new harrisonhuff.com site, which is being finished up as we speak.  Stay tuned for the announcements on what's new and coming down the pike soon.

P.P.S. – I did eventually get everything for the back patio.  I just got it from two other national, well-known retailers.  Do you know how they got the business?  While I was standing in the aisle, looking lost with wallet in hand – an employee saw me, walked up and actually asked if there was anything I needed help with.  Over a thousand dollars later, I was on the way home with everything I needed and a smile on my face.  Amazing what a simple question will do in business…

Her body was found in a shallow grave very near where she disappeared.

Gardner is also being investigated in the disappearance of another girl, Amber DuBois, who disappeared over a year ago in the same area as Chelsea King.

There is also one more woman who was the target of this predator – but her story came out MUCH differently.

Candice Moncayo was a female jogger who was attacked last December in the same park as Chelsea King.  She was tackled by her assailant, who demanded money and then began shaking Moncayo violently by the shoulders.

Moncayo fought back by elbowing her assailant in the nose, stunning him long enough for her to make her escape.

DNA swabs by the police on her elbow came back as a positive match to guess who?  Yep – John Gardner.

Moncayo is the only one of the three victims that had martial arts training.

When it comes to Taking Back Your Power and standing up to the bullies in your life – it is not JUST about bullying.

One of the things I always try to mention in all the radio interviews, public speaking engagements, articles, posts, videos and e-mails is this:  while you don't want yourself or your child to be looking for a fight – you do want to have the WILLINGNESS to defend yourself, even if you are terrified.

While we may never know the exact circumstances of the attacks on the other two girls, we do know that the one girl who had the emotional and physical training to fight back survived.

You could make the argument that bullying is the first step or phase on the road to abuse, assault or worse.  Making sure that you or your child has the knowledge and techniques to emotionally, mentally and physically stand up to a potential threat really can mean the difference between high self-esteem, mental toughness and a can-do attitude, or living a life in fear, mentally scarred from the event…or worse.

If you haven't done it yet, please go HERE and get the course, Bully Proof Kids.

Give yourself and your child a fighting chance – It can mean the first step towards a life of security and safety for you both.

Take Back Your Power,

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – I know it has been a little bit since we spoke last.  I have been hard at work on the new site and information that is going to make harrisonhuff.com the place on the Internet when it comes to bullying, business and self development.  Stay tuned…

Yes.

My Total Toughness Telecoaching program, which I created to coach parents on how to help their children when it came to bullying, ended up being attended by adults who were being bullied at work or having challenges in other areas of their lives.

My two times on the radio with The Bill Handel Show, Southern California's #1 rated morning radio show, more adults were calling for help about bullying bosses and cyber bullying then parents for their children.

Bullying has to start somewhere and I believe – with all my heart – that kids are learning it from their parents.

Think about it – what does every child do from their earliest age; they start to mimic their parents and what they do.

I remember taking my three-year old nephew on a trip to McDonald's when on the way, I was cut off by a knucklehead driver who wasn't paying attention.  I violently jerked the wheel to avoid hitting the guy and yelled, "S#$t!" at the same time.

For the rest of the day – much to his parents' chagrin – my nephew was saying, "S#$t, s#$t, s#$t" all day long, like a parrot.

Kids learn by example.  That tells me that these kids that are bullies are learning it from their parents, too.

How else do you explain all these adults looking for help in dealing with their bullying bosses, abusive spouses or loved ones and general pains in the you-know-what?

Bullies and bullying are everywhere in the adult world, they just don't call it bullying.  It is called harrassment, stalking, cyber-bullying or a bully boss.

It is also evident in crappy customer service, bad attitudes of employees and vendors, lousy performance of duty by involved parties and more.

You would think that in this "New Economy", where value and quality of experience is mandatory to compete and win business, that people in business would be getting "on the stick" and blowing potential clients, employees and vendors away with the quality and value of what they offer.

Sadly, it is not so.  On the rare occasion that someone DOES go "above and beyond" and deliver a knockout experience, it is so memorable that you want to run around and tell all your friends.

So what does this have to do with you if you are an employee with a bully boss, in a toxic relationship or, like many people I am working with, you are in a "funk" in personal and professional life?  What do you do?

First, stop whining.  It is just sad.  Kids whine because "they can't get what they want".  You are an adult; you can get anything you want if you want it badly enough and decide to GOYA – Get Off Your Azz and go get it.

By the way, I am just as guilty of whining as the next guy.  I was actually recorded once in a business meeting where I was on a hot seat – me sitting in a chair with a coach and a roomful of bright, creative entrepreneurs giving me coaching and advice on how to be more successful, sell more, etc…

You'd think I would have been furiously taking notes and getting excited.  Sad to say that I was terrified and all I did was sit up there and whine about why I couldn't that I was scared and so on.  It was pitiful and when I saw the tape, I was embarrassed beyond words.

I share that story so that you know that EVERYONE gets "The Whines" once in awhile.  The key is to catch yourself, kick yourself in the azz and get over it.

Next, sit down for some RPYPT – Red Pen, Yellow Paper Therapy.  If you are tired of getting pushed around at work or in your business,sit down and ask yourself, "Self, what is it that I offer, I know how to do, that makes me the best?  What makes me different, unique or more valuable?"

Then SHUT UP that voice in your head that says, "Nothing" and write down the other answers that come to your head.

If you get stuck, ask someone who knows you well and you trust – NOT someone at work – for what they see as your gifts.

Once you get these figured out, get to steppin' on how you can maximize your value – and that starts with YOU believing and valuing YOU and your abilities.

If you don't, I guarantee you no one else will.

Once you "Get It" – and I mean really get it in your heart, your gut and your mind, you will be amazed at the transformation of energy you feel about you.  You will also notice an immediate change in what you will and will NOT tolerate from yourself in the terms of your attitudes and behaviors.

You will also notice a change in what you will and won't tolerate from others in their treatment of you.

This is only the beginning.  But, none of this will happen if you don't take the first step and decide that you are a valuable person, with unique gifts and abilities that can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

Take that first step…you are worth it.

To your best,

Sensei Huff

P.S. – One of the steps I listed in this message is contained in my latest book, "The 10 Commandments of Supercharged Small Business Marketing" which will be coming soon.  The principles in this book are the same I have used to launch multiple businesses and many of them directly relate to employees and business owners alike.  

P.P.S. – New site and products will be ready soon.  Once I get a better feel for the date, I will let you know what to look for.  I will be putting together an offer that has NEVER been offered before, with thousands of dollars in bonus materials, f-r-e-e.  Stay tuned.

In the story, they talk about his background, his family, how he got started in the sport and more.

The thing that jumped out at me about this guy was not his physical gifts – although they are astonishing.

Most men that compete in the Strongmen contests are giant, beer-bellied bulls that are strong enough to lift cars, but look like they just got up off a barstool.  Not this guy; he literally looks like he was carved out of stone.  6'1', 330 pounds, giant wrists and knees, no neck and every inch of him screams "Man". By his own admission, none of this is what makes him one of the greatest powerlifters and certain World's Strongest Man.  Nope, what makes him the best – in his own words…

"My mind."

Listen to how he describes pain and fear: "Pain is a lie your brain tells your body 'cause it's scared and doesn't want to keep working.  Once you know it's fear, you learn to gut past it – and that's where they big gains are."

Listen to that – "Once you learn it is just fear, you learn to gut past it and that is where the big gains are."

He realizes that while the physical is important – he couldn't be doing what he is doing without favorable genetic gifts – that all of it would go to waste if he didn't learn to use his mind to push past what his body "thought" it could or couldn't do.

The Navy SEALs are know for the same sort of attitude that they breed into their trainees as they try to survive through BUD's, which is essentially boot camp for SEALs.  They teach the trainees that your body can do ten times more than you think it can – if you are mentally strong enough to make it do so.

There have been several people I have worked with recently who gave me the "Yeah, buts…"  As I worked with them and they told me their story – ironically, they both had the same story; they both had bully bosses and jobs they hated but were afraid to stand up for themselves because they were afraid to be out of job – I coached them on how their attitudes and mentality was the real issue and if they fixed that by taking back their power, everything else would take care of itself.

Both of them looked me in the eye and said the same thing; "Yeah, but you don't understand; my situation is different and that won't work for me."

Here is a mental picture I want you to imagine the next time you hear yourself , say, "Yeah, but…" when you are dealing with something scary and you have been given the answer…

I want you to picture yourself in a crowded room of your peers, and I want you to picture me jumping up, pointing at you and screaming at the top of my lungs, "WIMP!"

That's right – wimp.

How could I be such an a-hole and tell you such a thing?  Besides being the World's First Motivational Insultant, I am trying to shake you out of your B.S. and get you to realize something…

Your mind is what makes the difference between you being a chump or a champion.  A whiner or a winner.  A victim or the victor.

If you tell yourself, "Yeah, but…" you are wimping out.  You are making excuses for yourself because you are afraid of what might be on the other side if you DO the thing that sounds scary.

Just like the strongman in the article said, fear is your brain's way of lying to you so you'll stop.  Once you figure out that it really is "all in your head" and you start to actively direct and control what is going on up there, then – and only then – can you take any situation or event and use it to your advantage.

I know because I have BEEN the victim before.  There have been several situations in my life, from childhood to adulthood that I carried around and allowed to hold me back, rob me of my power and not live up to my potential and gifts.

World-class coaches, therapists, books out the bazoopy, you name it – I did them all and when I was given answers or shown what to do – and it was scary – what did I do?

Yep, I said, "Yeah, but…"  And more time passed, more opportunities wasted, more mistakes repeated, more talent wasted, all because I was wimping out, afraid to do what I knew deep down was the right thing to do and the thing that could move me to the levels I truly desired.  I had people pulling for me, telling me I could do it, letting me know I had the talent and ability if I would just ACT.

It wasn't tell I STOPPED beating myself up for all the B.S. in my past, started getting tougher on myself to "push past the fear"and to ACT - that things started to turn around. 

You can do the same.  No matter where you are, what has happened, what your financial situation, who is in your life that you think is holding you back, the state of the economy – none of that matters.

The only thing that matters is YOU and YOUR MIND.

Decide what it is you really want – forget all the "yeah, buts", the fear that pops up, what people might think or any of that B.S. - and focus solely, 100% on what you want.

Once you get that figured out – DECIDE – that you are going to have it…then take a deep breath, swallow your fear and take the first step towards what you want.  Now.

It's your mind and your life.  Make it turn you into the Victor.  Win a victory at the game called, "Your Life".

You are worth it.

To your best,

Sensei Harrison Huff